How to Be Single on Valentine's Day Weekend

Aghhhh!!!! Valentine's Day. The fake ass holiday invented by companies like eHarmony and Hallmark for the poor, unfortunate, love struck souls on this football we call Earth. Unlike a huge chunk of my friends, I am not of those souls. I'm single. VERY single. This, for me, is Day 1 of Valentine's Day weekend. Let's see how this shit goes. Who knows, I just might find somebody.